Love

Last night, Steve and I sat around a pit fire with a group of friends in Upland. As twilight grew and the fire burned brighter, our conversation shifted to talking about love and dating. We laughed at each others’ funny relationship stories, wondered about love lost, and talked about finding The One.

It got me thinking about what being in love means. I only dated one other guy before Steve, and even though our relationship was short – only five or six months – and I was young (18), I’m pretty sure I thought I was in love. But I think that was the only words I had to explain it. Now, of course, I have the benefit of seven years of marriage that have given me a fuller picture of what love really means. (And I’m sure in 50 years I’ll look back on me now and be like, “Pshaw! Did I really think I knew what love was!?”)  But at the time, I think I really thought I had fallen in love.

But here’s the thing: I think love is a choice. I choose to love Steve, and I choose to act lovingly towards him. And beyond marriage – I can choose to treat people with love and respect…or I can choose to be selfish.

So when we talk about “falling in love” – where does that fit in? That denotes that you couldn’t help it; it was a visceral reaction. Maybe it’s a way of explaining the mystery of love, maybe with just a shadow of the wonder of Christ’s love for us.

At church last week, my pastor talked about the church being the bride of Christ. Absolutely amazing imagery, and as he went through various common wedding traditions, explaining how they relate back to the picture of Christ as the Bridegroom, I was constantly going back and forth between tears of gratitude for Christ’s love, and cynical wonderings about why God chose the symbol of a patriarchal marriage ceremony. There was talk of the groom “leading” the bride, and how it was so important for her to publicly announce her purity…. that double standard always has bugged me. And okay – I realize all marriages are different – but Steve doesn’t “lead” me! We do things together, with mutual respect and love.

Whatever. Anyhoo, I do appreciate the fact that God – in all His majesty and glory – chose a very human and “earthy” way to relate to the Church. There are implications to this symbol that I do not understand fully. But it’s a wonderful picture of an approachable God who really and truly loves and wants to have a relationship with His Church. And that, my friend, is pretty darn cool.